I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
