On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
