I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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