it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
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