love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
