are you still at the devil's house?
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
