And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
