Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
