So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
