Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Randomize
