Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
