remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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