im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
My penis needs a shock collar
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Randomize
