my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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