hotel room ftw
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
