I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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