I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
