I understand Curling. That high.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
