I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
