New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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