I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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