Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Randomize
