so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
