if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
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