You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
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