HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
