Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
