Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
