You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
