she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Randomize
