When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
