im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
