Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
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