I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
