Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
