I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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