My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
