when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
