Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
