I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
two words...techno handjob
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize
