I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Your penis caused this!
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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