soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
His nipple licking is glorious
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