how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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