The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Randomize
