Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
