wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
