I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize