Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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