i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
You are a genius and a whore.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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