I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
