My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
