hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
