Why does Corona taste like a burp?
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
