Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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