thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize
